For anyone who has survived sexual abuse as a child, these words may feel impossible to believe: It was not your fault. Yet they are true — completely, unconditionally true.

If you were raped or sexually abused as a child, you carry a wound that may be invisible to the world but painfully real inside. This trauma can feel like a shadow that never leaves. It can twist how you see yourself, other people, relationships, safety, sex, and even God.

But please know this: you are not broken beyond repair. You are not beyond help. You can heal, even if it takes time and support.

Understanding the Hidden Impact

Childhood sexual trauma doesn’t just leave memories — it often changes the way survivors see the world. It can create what therapists call maladaptive schemas: deeply held beliefs like “I am unlovable,” “People will always hurt me,” “I have no control,” or “My body is only for others.”

These thoughts aren’t the truth — they’re survival beliefs your brain formed to make sense of something that never should have happened to you.

Sometimes these beliefs show up as:

• Difficulty trusting others
• Fear of intimacy or confusion about sex
• Self-blame or deep shame
• Anxiety, depression, or nightmares
• Using work, substances, or perfectionism to numb pain

If you see yourself in this, please know: these responses are normal reactions to something profoundly abnormal. You did what you had to do to survive.

What Healing Can Look Like

Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means learning to live without the trauma defining who you are.

Here are steps that can help:

Acknowledge What Happened — and That It Wasn’t Your Fault

It can be terrifying to name the truth: I was raped. I was abused. But putting words to it breaks the secrecy that trauma feeds on. Remind yourself: the blame belongs fully to the abuser, never to the child.

Find Safe Support

You don’t have to do this alone. A good therapist — especially one trained in trauma — can help untangle the shame and the skewed beliefs that trauma left behind.

If therapy isn’t an option right now, start by talking to a trusted friend, mentor, pastor, or support group. Speaking the truth in a safe place is powerful.

Learn Grounding Tools

Flashbacks and overwhelming feelings are common. Gentle grounding techniques — like deep breathing, noticing five things you can see and touch, or holding an ice cube — can help bring you back to the present when memories intrude.

Be Kind to Your Body

Many survivors feel disconnected or even betrayed by their own bodies. Gentle self-care — like warm baths, stretching, or mindful walks — can slowly rebuild a sense of safety in your own skin.

Challenge the Old Lies

One of the hardest parts is noticing and questioning the deep-seated beliefs trauma plants. Therapy helps, but you can also practice noticing when a thought feels rooted in shame — and remind yourself of the truth: You are worthy of safety. You are worthy of love. You did not deserve what happened.

Seek Faith or Meaning if It Helps

Many survivors find comfort in spirituality or prayer. If faith is important to you, bring your pain honestly to God — raw, unpolished prayers are welcome. A caring pastor or counselor can help you process spiritual questions that trauma may have shaken.

You Are More Than What Was Done To You

If you are reading this, please hear this again: You did not deserve it. It was not your fault. Your worth did not disappear because of what someone did to you.

Recovery is not linear — some days you may feel strong; other days you may feel like you’re drowning again. That does not mean you’re failing. It means you’re healing.

If you feel alone or unsafe with your thoughts, please reach out to a local therapist or counselor

One Last Word

You are courageous for surviving this long. You are courageous for even reading this. Healing is possible — and you do not have to do it alone.